This past weekend one or two people let me know in no
uncertain terms they wanted the blog to be constantly updated once a week,
which is fair. So I compiled a list of all the things I have wanted to see and
haven’t gotten around to doing yet. One of these things was a place called The
Little Brown Church, also known as The Little Brown Church in the Vale and The
Church in the Wildwoods, as well as the Las Vegas chapel of northeastern Iowa.
Actually, I just made up that last part for reasons that will become obvious
later on.
The Little Brown Church is a prime example of truth in
advertising. It is little, it is brown and it is a church. It’s such a great
example of Midwestern plainspokenness you have to smile. Most churches at least
reference town in their names, and some of the newer megachurches like to work
in soothing imagery in their names, like “Lamb of God Megachurch of Christ.”
And of course everyone knows about the elaborate names given to Catholic
churches and shrines, like “Our Blessed Lady of the Still Water and Holy Blood
Shrine of Everlasting Peace and Eternal Harmony.” But out here in the country?
The Little Brown Church. The Little Brown Church in the Valley if you’re going
to be fancy. Even this isn’t exactly being poetic, because the church is in the
Cedar Valley area, although if you look around the land is just as flat as
everywhere. This is not to say you can’t find parts that are lower than others,
but I will say they are mostly underpasses.
The church has a fantastic history, even though it’s not
exactly impressive to see in person. The church was built by a town called Bradford,
which is supposedly the first town in this area. The building took four years
to complete and was constructed almost entirely from material in the area. One
family donated the land, other people found a quarry of limestone and used it
for the foundation, and the lumber came from the trees surrounding the area.
Apparently the only thing that didn’t come from the area was the paint used for
the church. It was brown, and although apparently nobody liked it, it was the
cheapest paint they could find. This resonates with me for a couple of reasons,
the most important one being that my mom and dad’s house has been brown for as
long as I can remember. Even now, when they’ve put on siding on the outside of
the house, it’s brown. For years I’ve always thought that brown was a great
color for a house, and while there are plenty of other colors that are nice, a
brown house feels like home. This has been severely put to the test over the
years, most notably when I had to clean outhouses for the Department of Natural
Resources, but I still have a soft spot in my heart for a brown house. I can
also see getting the cheapest paint available, too.
The church also stands as a testament to the power of
prophecy or one of the greatest coincidences of all time, depending on your
point of view. A music teacher named William Pitts traveled through the fledgling
town of Bradford, saw the field where the church had yet to be built, and was
struck by how lovely the spot was. As William was travelling to see his future
wife, his thoughts were of romance and he imagined a church being constructed
on the site where he stood. Inspired, William wrote a poem about the imaginary
church called “Church in the Wildwood” and later decided it would make some
decent lyrics. I need to reiterate, this was about four years before the Little
Brown Church was even built! Later, William would come through Bradford again,
see the church, and immediately be reminded of the song he had composed.
History doesn’t say, but I think he might have also contacted the Weekly World
News to get his story published.
A lot of time has passed since the church was first
constructed, though. Bradford no longer exists, and the church mostly stands by
itself while the town of Nashua sprung up about ten miles to the southeast. The
church sits in the middle of the country, and for the most part it seems pretty
quiet. That is, unless you count the weddings performed.
Despite the fact that the church’s website emphatically
states it is in no way a wedding chapel, the church claims to do 400 weddings a
year. Think about that, and then consider that your standard year only has 365
days. When you sign up for a wedding, you reserve the church from 30 minutes to
three hours, which also entails a certain amount of guests and a wedding
ceremony performed by the church’s pastor. You can even rent an organist and a
soloist if you’re feeling fancy. The one restriction? No same sex marriages.
Given what a hot button topic same sex marriage is, and given that same sex
couples can get married in Iowa, I think the church handles it in the best way possible.
Their website states that while they don’t have anything against gay couples,
they’re an old country church and set in their ways, so let’s just agree to
disagree and leave it at that. I found this attitude particularly refreshing.
No talk about the values of traditional marriage, no insisting they’re
protecting fundamental family values or any myth that hasn’t been completely
shattered by almost every celebrity and power couple in the United States.
Speaking of which, I happened to be at the Little Brown
Church as the pastor was doing a marriage ceremony that seemed to be a
half-hour job. From my best guess, it was a second marriage. The bride wore a
whiteish dress that could have also been used for a senior prom, and the groom
was definitely dressed for senior prom. He had on a pair of black slacks, a
vertical striped button up shirt, and no tie. While I usually applaud the
no-tie movement (it’s like getting strangled by someone with a really weak
grip), this was kind of unusual. The only other people in the church were an
older couple who seemed like the parents of the bride and a woman who must have
been the maid of honor. The older couple were busy taking care of a baby.
Here’s the thing—everyone involved seemed happy, but it was
a different kind of happiness than I’ve seen in other weddings. Everyone was
smiling, but they weren’t the kind of smiles you usually see on people in a
wedding party. They were the kind of smiles you see on people who are relieved,
which bothered me. Nevertheless, as the bride and groom were getting into a
pickup truck with “Just Married” scrawled on the rear window, I did find myself
hoping that they’d be happy together.
