Surviving Winter in the Midwest

This year has not been a typical winter in northeast Iowa. There has barely been any snow, and the temperatures, while cold, aren’t as bone-chilling as they have been in years past. In my first ever winter out in Iowa, I went to my car, started it up, and the external thermometer read -10. This was the first ever time I had seen the gauge dip below zero, and I thought for a few moments it was malfunctioning. This turned out to just be the product of wishful thinking and a very sheltered life.

Winter in Iowa is synonymous with extreme cold and nasty blizzards, even though right now there’s very little of either. For now, the only real threat the weather has thrown at northeast Iowa is a thick blanket of fog that comes down heavy on the weekends. Not so much like the little cat feet Carl Sandburg wrote about, but more like a giant hand while cars and people move about under its smothering embrace like ants. In this way and this way only is northeast Iowa like London.

So for now the residents of northeast Iowa are all breathing a sigh of relief. Farmers, landlords and construction workers are putting in extra time to get just a few more projects done before the inevitable winter storm hits and shuts things down until the temperature rises and the inevitable snow melts.

Until that happens, I’d like to list five ways that Midwesterners use to survive winter. While these are most useful in rural areas, cities will probably also get some use out of them, although cities in general can take the battering of a snowstorm better than smaller towns. Also, if you don’t live in the Midwest, I can’t guarantee that these will work.

Step One: Be Prepared – When November hits, good preparation is a requirement. I won’t go into the multiple and various steps farmers have to take because I know nothing about them, but I will say that farmers are up until late at night and begin early the next morning getting their fields ready for winter. According to one farmer, he spends twelve to fourteen hours a day working, except during the winter when he only works eight. I’ve said it before and I will say it again—farmers are some of the hardest working people on earth.

Even if you don’t have an outside project that needs to get done, you need to start preparing. Breaking out the winter clothes is a good first step. So is getting your car winterized. Make sure you’ve got a working shovel or a snowmobile handy, too, unless you happen to live in an apartment building. Then you just have to make sure your landlord has one. If you’re more than a few miles away from a town you might want to make sure that you get some grocery shopping done before the storm hits, and you will definitely want to make sure you have enough wood or gas to get you through the winter.

Step Two: Learn to Drive – Idiots are on the road almost immediately following a really bad snowstorm. You’ll be able to see them in ditches every so often on the road, giving the nearest garage a call to send out a tow truck, or if they’ve had particularly bad luck, they’ll be inspecting the vehicle in front of them to find out just how bad the damage really was.

No one will argue that these people are idiots, including the people themselves. “I was such an idiot!” they’ll say, and the people to whom they are talking will nod right along with them, only it will be an understanding, sympathetic nod because everyone driving in winter is a potential idiot. Let’s be clear, this is not the type of idiocy that compels someone to link the death toll in an earthquake with the number of abortions performed that year or something like that. This is the type of idiocy that no one can escape, and during the winter it starts with the first time you get in your car in the winter. You have to learn what the right speed is on each road every time you drive on it, not to mention how well your brakes will be working, whether or not you can expect black ice on the road and how bad the snowdrifts are going to be. It’s not easy, even with a vehicle that was built to handle tough weather.

Step Three: Enjoy it – Really, the big secret about winter that no one talks about is how much fun it can be. When I go home and spend Christmas in Michigan with my family, we will be all bundled up in my mom and dad’s house, and we will be having a blast playing board games and drinking some holiday tea that my mom has brewed. We’ll be opening presents, swapping stories and in general having a wonderful time. When we go outside, we’ll be going on hikes through the forest that surrounds my mom and dad’s house, and we might go on a sleigh ride, too.

Yes, winter has its difficulties, but the ice on the road also means that ice-skating is at hand, and a lot of snow also means that you can go out skiing, snowshoeing or snowmobiling. There are some great opportunities out there, and really all it takes is looking at the weather in the right way.

Then again, complaining about the weather can be fun, too.